One of the biggest things that can cause fights in a marriage is money. No matter where you are in a relationship, it’s a good idea to discuss these major money topics so you’ll know where you and your partner stand.
Show me the money: Combine, keep separate, or both
One of the best ways to avoid conflict is to put your money into three separate ‘buckets’: yours, your spouse’s, and a joint set of accounts. In this arrangement, each of you has control over some money that is your own. The household spending will then come out of the joint account, and both will make contributions to it on a regular basis.
As a couple, you’ll need to discuss who is responsible for what as well as what your regular contributions to the joint account will be. This is not an insignificant discussion. The more thorough you are, the less conflict you will have over money.
One spouse or partner will normally handle the joint finances, and it’s typically the person with the most accounting knowledge. However, both should have access to this account in case of emergency.
Savings and future purchase goals
Do you have goals about upcoming large purchases? These might include:
A home purchase or improvement
Children’s education
Health care needs
Saving for retirement
A car purchase
A second home purchase
A vacation
Another item such as a boat, furniture, technology gadgets, a plane, or something else
A nest egg or cushion
If so, calculate how much you need and make a plan to set aside the money you need in the agreed upon time frame.
Spending
Do you like to spend more than your spouse? Or is it the other way around? When money is flowing, there is usually no problem. When money is tight, that’s when the problems arise.
When there are conflicts in the area of spending, it is best to focus on priorities. If you are in agreement on your priorities and goals, it can often shift spending habits.
Stay tuned for Part II…